Heartfall
by Squire of Gothos
Summary: Asuka meets a Shinji who isn't quite what she expected, but why is he like this? And does she really want to know the answer? A non-wuss ShinjixAsuka fic


Heartfall

An Asuka Langley Soryu fic

Because I write so few of them

* * *

She felt strange. It was like she was only partially synchronized, or that there was something in the way, something distracting her. Her Eva's movements felt sluggish, or muddy, as if the ground weren't solid beneath her feet. She gripped her progressive knife tightly, fighting against the fear she felt, transforming it into anger and confidence.

A quick movement, something leaping at her, then a sharp pressure around her midsection. She grunted with strain, but the ground gave way beneath her, and she lost her footing completely. She was immersed in something, and the pressure around her waist was tighter than ever. It was dark.

There was someone with her. It looked like someone familiar, maybe her guardian, Kaji, the man who had watched over her for years. She reached out for him, not really thinking about how he would be in the entry plug of her Evangelion with her.

It didn't matter. He was there, and he wasn't resisting her any more. Whatever else was happening didn't matter. He was close to her, she had her arms wrapped around him. All that mattered was the visceral sensation of human contact, of exchange of feelings.

It wasn't Kaji. The environment around her suddenly felt alien, strange. She couldn't breathe.

* * *

On the ocean, and not in a dream

The deck of the super-carrier Over the Rainbow barely heaved as the ship moved through the choppy waves. The wind was picking up. Not badly, but enough to draw a skim of white-caps across the water. Asuka Langley Soryu felt the wind whip her yellow sundress making it flap like an errant flag that had gotten wrapped tightly around its mount. Her hair streamed to the side, a red mane that off and on flew across her face, hiding her view of the long deck of the flattop. She still remembered that recurring dream, but she couldn't make sense of it. Not that it mattered.

From where she stood on a high platform she had a clear view of the ungainly Mig-55D transport helicopter as the pilot expertly matched the craft's speed with the carrier, accounting for the subtle sway of the deck. The helicopter carried the long stocky bullet-like shape of its Russian Hind predecessors, in fact it was essentially a Mil-24 design that had incorporated elements of the American Skycrane heavy-lift concepts. A giant rectangular cargo container was nestled snugly underneath the craft, which undoubtedly held the components of the power cable that all Evangelions needed for long-term operation. In the hands of its able pilot, the craft touched down with barely a thump. On board that helicopter would be Captain Misato Katsuragi, the Operations Director for NERV, soon to be her own superior officer.

She glanced back towards the battleship Othello which held her Unit Two. The immense firepower of the UN's combined Pacific fleet had been arrayed around that ship all to protect its precious cargo. Some would have thought it to be egotistical to think in such a way, but she considered it to be simply admitting the truth. While in transport, this entire fleet was in essence her fleet, all to protect her and her battle machine.

It was like being vindicated, it was the certainly the high point of her life. She stood on the deck of the most powerful naval vessel in the world, amidst a gathering of ships that was larger than any war fleet throughout mankind's history, and it was all for her. The acknowledging of this fact sent a shiver of visceral pleasure down her spine. Every time she stopped and thought about it, she felt that jolt, and time had not weakened it.

It was exciting to be so perfectly acknowledged, to have her worth laid out in such plain terms. What made things so much better was the simple fact that even with all that, it wasn't enough. Nothing humanity could do would have been able to compare with the importance of her Unit Two. No amount of ships, no arsenals of weapons, nothing would truly suffice to protect the gigantic biomechanoid, precisely because the creature itself was the only proper opponent for the Angels.

Still, she would accept the Pacific fleet for what it was, a gesture of solidarity, at least an attempt at making a show of her importance. By now the rotors of the Mig-55 had come to a halt, which meant that its passengers would soon disembark. She walked smoothly across the deck grating towards the stairs that would take her down to the main deck. The long weeks had let her grow accustomed to the subtle movements of the ship so that she kept her poise and footing without any sign of stumbling.

She swept down the stairs as the door on the side of the helicopter swung open. She came to a stop, her right hand on her hip, unable to quell the imperious feeling that made her grin fiercely. She was the queen, here to welcome visiting subjects onto the flagship of her fleet. The sensations running through her were painful in their intensity, the power was dizzying. She steadied herself, breathing out the tensions she felt in a sigh.

A boy about her age stepped out of the craft, stumbling around in his excitement, barely able to stay on his feet. This would be because he was looking through the view-finder of a small camcorder, as opposed to where he was placing his feet. He was obviously thrilled out of his mind, yelling and pointing excitedly with his free hand as he tried to film every direction at once. Her smile widened. He was unimportant, except for how he was further acknowledging her power and influence.

Next through the door of the helicopter was a hat, a baseball cap that sailed on the breeze and then fell to the deck to continue its journey. A frantic boy, this one about her age as well, jumped to the deck and desperately chased after the errant hat, which was undoubtedly his.

"Wait! Stop, damn you...!" he called, as if his life depended on the hat. So far that was two unimportant little boys. She idly wondered what contortions they had gone through to be allowed to join the flight over. It wasn't just everyone that got to visit the pride of the Pacific fleet. Another boy exited the helicopter and having seen and learned from the first two, she gave him only a passing glance.

Next out was Misato herself. The raven-haired Captain was massaging the back of her neck and grumbling in annoyance at the lack of comfortable seats on the helicopter.

"Well, hello Misato." Asuka had to work to keep her tone from being nothing but gloat. "How have you been?" The hat that had been traveling across the deck tapped against her foot. The boy chasing it was begging for someone, anyone, to stop it. She lifted a foot, bringing it down on the hat. The boy's face lit up, then turned livid when she ground the white hat into the deck, her movements casual and precise at the same time.

"Just fine!" Misato brushed a hand through her hair, which was going every in the wind. "Goodness, you've grown some, haven't you?" She gave Asuka a quick once-over glance as the hat-boy knelt to the deck and desperately fought to recover his cap from under Asuka's foot.

"I've grown alright!" Asuka completely ignored hat-boy's efforts, since he was right where boys were supposed to be, at her feet. "And not just taller, if you know what I mean."

"Great! Let me introduce you." Misato turned to the two boys at her side, her gaze momentarily going to hat-boy, who was still pulling desperately at the cap. "This is Asuka Langley Soryu, designated pilot for Unit Two!"

Hat-boy was still after his hat, camera-kid was still trying to film everything in sight... and the other one was standing silently beside Misato, his dark gray eyes watching her. She was forced to reevaluate him, and that irked her. She had at first lumped him with the other two clowns, but he was different now that she really looked. There was that subtle sense of awe in his eyes for the ship he was standing on, that at least was proper and normal, but he held himself back from jumping around madly or making himself look like a fool. He had a measure of self-control, unlike the other two.

A scream of triumph indicated to her that in her surprise she had taken the pressure off her foot. Hat-boy had retrieved his hat. Something about the silent boy next to Misato was beginning to curdle the triumph and ecstasy that was her birthright as queen of the Pacific fleet.

"So." Asuka walked with measured steps towards Misato and the boy. "Which one is the famous Third Child?" She gave a derisive glance towards where hat-boy was busy straightening his cap to it looked right. Camera-kid was only just beginning to calm down. She knew exactly who the Third Child was. There was no way it could be either of those two.

"It's him." Misato indicated the boy beside her, which wasn't surprising. Asuka came to a stop directly in front of Misato, then slid her gaze haphazardly towards the purported Eva pilot, taking the chance to get a good look at him. She had intended for it to be just a glance, but something about him made her stop. This close she could see the quiet reserve behind his steel-gray eyes, as if this weren't the biggest deal he had ever seen.

"Does he have a name?" Asuka used the question to deflect attention from how long she had allowed her gaze to linger on him. She looked him up and down as if preparing to dismiss him if he didn't measure up.

"Shinji Ikari." The boy had answered the question himself.

She blinked. Those two words were the first he had spoken since exiting the helicopter, and she had wondered if Misato would have to answer for him. Although the words had been quiet, he had spoken with confidence. It was as if he was pushing himself forward, making sure he was seen even though it went against his nature. She saw herself in that gesture, the desire to be seen, and this time it sparked actual anger, which she quickly suppressed.

She turned away sharply, looking back towards the other two. "And who're the other two clowns?" She directed the words at Misato, hiding her embarrassment. She had been staring again.

"That one's Touji Suzuhara," Misato indicated hat-boy, "and the other is Kensuke Aida. They're Shinji's friends."

"Well, that much is obvious," Asuka sniffed, glancing back at Shinji. If he was affected by her barb, he did not show it. This time a touch of color actually did come to her cheeks. Before she could say anything further, he spoke up.

"They're good guys, if you get to know'em." He held her eyes for a moment, for far too long a moment, then glanced to Misato who stood beside him. Now he was beginning to get self-conscious, but that wasn't enough in her view.

"Who'd want to?" she snapped, turning to storm off. Gone was the glorious feeling she had enjoyed before. This boy was obviously her inferior, and he knew it as well, but he had still found the nerve to talk back to her! What really irked her was something else, though. What really gave her pause was that he obviously wasn't as inferior to her as she had assumed he would be.

* * *

The mess area on Over the Rainbow was posh by naval standards, with actual wooden tables, as opposed to bolted-on metal prefab ones. Albeit, the tables themselves probably were fastened to the deck-plates, but the dining area could have been a regular restaurant based on the lighting, décor, and fancy table-cloths.

Asuka sipped her tea elegantly. Whatever had happened up on deck, she was still queen of the fleet. It was still her show, and everybody at the table was essentially her guests. It would have been gauche to come out and say it in so many words, but it was the truth all the same, and that was what mattered.

Across from her sat Kensuke, sans-camera thankfully, Touji, and Misato. To her left was Shinji, and to her right was Ryoji Kaji, Special Inspector extraordinaire, who had been her temporary guardian back in Germany. He was the main reason she hadn't already taught the upstart Third Child a lesson in manners.

In truth it took all her willpower just to act graceful this close to Kaji. She was on some level aware of how he repeatedly deflected every attempt by her to get closer to him. If she had been directly asked, she would have had to admit that it was unlikely that there would be anything between them in the near future. He undoubtedly still saw her as a little girl, and that was that.

But this was only if someone had asked her point-blank. She had yet to consciously accept any level of doubt concerning his feelings for her, or lack thereof. She simply had not yet gotten through to him, that was all. After all, he was still unmarried, right? As long as there was no ring, there was hope.

"So..." Kaji was slouched in his seat, his elbow on the table, chin perched on his hand, giving Misato the cat's smile, "do you have a boyfriend, right now?" The way he inflected the words showed just how much light he was making of her supposedly nonexistent love life.

For her part, Misato looked to be about as tense and furious as Kaji was relaxed and at ease. "I don't see how that's any of your business." Her arms were crossed and she refused to even look in his general direction.

Asuka had to fight to keep her hand steady. She knew intellectually that Kaji wasn't a virgin. In fact, she doubted he was anywhere near a virgin. While that fact grated at her, it paradoxically increased his charm at the same time. He was very experienced. But what was he implying here?

Kaji sat back and picked up his tea cup, feigning great emotion. "I'm hurt," he said, giving her sad eyes and putting a hand to his heart. "Ouch." He sipped his tea. Misato didn't appear to be concerned one whit by this.

Asuka set her cup down, making sure she looked nonchalant. She had never expected to run into one of Kaji's sexual liaisons in person, much less have such a person be Misato. Asuka cast a suspicious glance at the woman as Kaji prepared another barb. That sinking feeling she been getting recently was growing stronger. Kaji seemed to be slipping away, or more precisely, she had never had good hold of him, and that was becoming more clear day by day.

"So, I understand that you're living with Katsuragi," Kaji said, leaning forward so he could look around Asuka and see Shinji.

"Yeah, that's right." Shinji snorted, and immediately covered it up with a cough. He glanced warily at Kaji, as if he'd revealed too much with that reaction. Asuka had gone completely still. She had not had any idea who Shinji's guardian was. By all logic, it should have been his own father, if anybody. It wasn't like she kept up with the lives of people half a world away.

"Tell me something," Kaji asked, a knowing grin on his face, "is she still so... wild in bed?"

The table exploded into pandemonium, but it all went around Asuka, as if she were the eye in a hurricane. She was numb, as if she had been hit with a localized anesthetic. That Kaji had so blithely joked about it meant there really had been something between him and Misato at some time in the past.

And they were all going to be within grabbing distance when they got to Japan. That sinking feeling was no longer slight. She had just been put into free-fall. However else she might distort the truth to herself or others, there was no denying that a woman who had already gotten together with Kaji once would have a much better chance of doing it again. It stunned her that Misato, the woman she had trusted as guardian for years, was her mortal enemy.

Slowly she returned to the world around her. Kaji's cup had overturned and Misato was standing, her hands on the table, yelling.

"-how dare you? Wh-What're you implying by that, you little-! You..."

"No," Kaji sighed knowingly, "she hasn't changed a bit, has she Shinji?"

"Well, I don't know," Shinji appeared to have regained his mental balance and was giving Kaji a half-grin, "I do sometimes hear these little noises from her room..."

"-wh-hey!" a very harried-looking Misato glared at Shinji, "who's side are you on, anyway?"

"The winning one, I think." Shinji raised a hand to hide his grin. Asuka was still too stunned from the previous bombshells to think clearly about the joke Shinji had just made. Shinji glanced towards Kaji. "-by the way Mister Kaji, how did you know my name?"

"Well, I ought'a know you, you're pretty famous in the defense business, you know," Kaji said matter-of-factly. "The famous Third Child who piloted an Eva in his first battle with no training!"

Asuka glared over at Shinji, her mind still whirling. She knew Kaji was teasing her just as much as he had been teasing Misato. It was just how he was. He knew how much Asuka thought of her own image, and how such talk would get to her. Normally she wouldn't have let him get under her skin, but she had just had her mental world turned upside down. She couldn't help but quietly seethe, even knowing that Kaji got as much pleasure from manipulating her emotions as he got from toying with Misato. Who had slept with him. Anger and despair were battling in her mind, threatening to push her under.

"Oh, that..." Shinji was looking embarrassed at Kaji's words of praise, "that battle was mostly luck," Shinji said ruefully. Asuka wasn't sure how much longer she could stomach sitting at a table with her mortal enemy, the woman's former love interest, and the boy beside her who was stealing her limelight.

"Luck is a part of your destiny," Kaji insisted, playing down Shinji's embarrassment. "It's your talent!" He stood, looking around as if observing his handiwork one last time. "Well," he sighed, "I'll see you all later," he said cheerfully. He walked off, and Asuka pushed herself out of her seat and began to stumble after him. She caught herself just in time, and moved more slowly and gracefully, stretching as if she had coincidentally decided now was a good time to get up. She needn't have bothered, since the rest of the table was still in an uproar.

* * *

The parapet on which Asuka stood was too high for the spray of the ocean to reach. She looked down into the roiling water, an apt image of her internal situation. She leaned out over the water, reaching, seeing if she could feel even the slightest touch of salt-water. If she could just have a little hope, just a touch.

To her left was Kaji, but she ignored him. He was thinking, she knew exactly what he looked like when he was thinking, as she had been around him long enough for that. There was only one thing he could be thinking about, or rather one person, and it infuriated her. She couldn't show that, though. She was the one who had followed him out here, after all. For once in her life, she didn't know what to ask him, or what to say.

"So, what do you think about Shinji Ikari?" Kaji's thoughtful expression had vanished behind his usual conniving grin.

"Who cares about him?" It was hard for Asuka to keep her tone free of despair. The last thing she needed from Kaji right now was false sympathy.

"Well, you should care," the man continued blithely. "After all, his synchronization level was well over forty percent in combat with no prior training..."

"Mein Gott...!" For a moment she could only stare at him, her expression stunned and furious. She caught herself, turning away angrily.

"You're not worried, are you?" Kaji needled.

"As if...!" Asuka pushed away from the railing, choking back what she was about to say. _As if you care!_ Frustration made her eyes begin to water. She shook her head angrily, thrusting away the sick feeling of despair that was still growing. However angry she was with him, she wasn't going to say something like that, not to Kaji.

* * *

It hadn't taken long for Asuka to track down Misato and her three charges. She stood at the top of the long escalator, waiting for them. Kensuke was still running through film like there was no tomorrow, and hat-boy was still looking around with barely restrained awe.

Only Shinji was mocking her with his lack of respect. He was calmly talking with Misato. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but it didn't matter. She waited, wondering how long it would take for one of them to actually glance up in the direction they were heading.

Nothing. The longer she waited, the angrier she got. Even if it was illogical, it felt like they were blatantly ignoring her. In a few seconds they would physically collide.

"Hey, Third Child!" Shinji glanced up to where she stood, again, his expression was too curious, not surprised or respectful as it should have been. She narrowed her eyes. "You're coming with me," she said.

"Okay..."

Without waiting for him to say anything else, she turned and stalked off.

* * *

The helicopter trip over to the Othello was uneventful. Shinji hadn't seemed impressed with how little effort it took her to convince the pilot to take them over. Never mind that as pilots they were supposed to have full access to their Evas at any time. Asuka glanced back towards Shinji.

"Do you always carry that backpack with you?" she asked irritably.

"No, not always." His answer was casual, though the look he gave her was strange.

Turning her back on him in frustration, she bent and lifted the edge of the giant tarpaulin that covered her Unit Two. As always, the sight of her Unit sent a burst of joy racing through her. She stepped to the side and gave him a confident smile. He walked over and looked under the tarp.

"Well?" She watched in satisfaction as his eyes traveled appreciatively over the lovely war machine. "What do you think?" Things were back on track.

"Wow, this is the first production model, right?" He glanced back at her and she drank up the excitement in his eyes.

"That's right!"

"Ritsuko told me about this model." He looked back towards the Eva, his eyes traveling over the shoulder weapons pods. "Advanced progressive knife, internally mounted weapons launchers..." His voice trailed off.

"Hey, want to see inside it?" Now things were going like they were supposed to.

"Sure."

He didn't exactly sound enthused, but that would quickly be remedied. Asuka had just ducked under the tarp to eject the plug when the deck beneath her shook, as if the battleship itself had been momentarily caught in the jaws of some giant sea creature.

"What was that?" Asuka's heart was in her throat as she steadied herself to keep from falling into the pit of purple coolant far below that half-covered her Eva. "An... Underwater shock-wave?"

"I don't know, maybe..." Shinji ducked out from underneath the tarp. Asuka scrambled to join him at the rail.

In the distance a thin snaking trail of smoke reached up and touched the sky. At the edge of the formation a patrol boat exploded without warning, sending a geyser of water and purple energy into the sky.

"Oh no... It's got to be an Angel." At Shinji's tense words Asuka glanced over. His expression was hard, but not enough to cover a touch of fear that showed through.

"An actual live Angel?" Asuka breathed. White hot exhilaration burned through her. This was her chance. The perfect chance, actually. She looked back towards her Eva to hide the uncontrollable look of sheer joy that crossed her face. "Wonderful...!" By the time she had looked back, Shinji was jogging along the deck towards the battleship's main superstructure. "Hey!" she called, "Where're you going?" He had looked scared, but not enough to warrant his running away. She ran after him, the cursed fluently in German as she doubled back to the Eva holding bay to pick up her plug suit and one extra. He would acknowledge her even if she had to drag him kicking and screaming into her Eva.

She jogged up to where Shinji had gone. She knew this was the door he had entered because it was hanging open. "Hey!" she called, running down the hall towards another open door. "What do you think you're doing- AACH!" She had rounded the corner only to find him stark naked and stepping into a plug suit. She dodged back around the corner, breathing heavily. "What the hell!" she yelled, as the boat lurched again. A short hiss indicated he had activated his suit's pressure seal. He came around the corner. She could still see the tension in his face, but a quizzical grin was tugging at his lips. His grin vanished and he looked her up and down.

"-ah, I'm not sure I can activate Unit Two by myself..."

Asuka colored. "Don't change the subject!" She backed up, pointing furiously. "Why did you bring that... that?"

"Well..." he looked down at himself, "I'm the backup pilot, right?" He looked back to her questioningly. "If I had to pilot, I'd need a suit, right? It's only logical that I'd bring one-"

"Whatever...!" She began pulling off her dress, only then realizing she was undressing in front of him without thinking. "Get out!" She furiously shoved him around the corner. He was chuckling, laughing actually.

"Hey, you got to see me, so don't I get to see you...?" The very un-Asuka-like shriek she gave sent him the rest of the way around the corner. She heard him apologizing, his voice more reserved, but he was still laughing, damn him. She could feel her face burning up, and could only hope she stopped blushing by the time she finished changing. "This is only just in case," she heard him say from down the hall. "I mean, it's not like you'll really need me, right? You've trained a lot more than I have-"

Whatever else he said was lost when she flipped her hair out of her suit and depressed her wrist switch, activating the pressure seal. She strode around the corner and caught sight of him. He really did look a little more apologetic. "Come on," she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him down the hallway.

"What? But where-"

"I'm going to show you some real piloting," she said between clenched teeth, still fighting the blush that was threatening to crawl over her face.

* * *

The interior of Unit Two's entry plug was large technically speaking, but with a second person in with her it felt dark and close. Asuka felt a sense of deja-vu but couldn't quite place it. She shook her head, clearing it of all thoughts but anticipation of success. Fortunately Shinji, who was drifting behind her let shoulder to the side of the plug seat, was being quiet as a mouse. Which was logical, considering he probably knew the kind of mental clarity needed to activate an Eva.

She glanced over at him surreptitiously. His eyes were closed. She was forced to look at him with a measure of respect, if he was actually doing some sort of calming exercise. Closing her eyes, she momentarily centered herself, then began the activation process.

Soft colors and sharp lines swam across the plug in hypnotic patterns. She let out a breath as contact was achieved. She was about to open her mouth when two things happened simultaneously. Shinji spoke, and red alert symbols flashed all over the plug.

"Scheisse!" She glared at him furiously, "What're you making mental noise for? You're supposed to be thinking in German!"

"But, but I don't know German..." Shinji's eyes were wide.

"What?" Asuka's mind whirled. "Oh never mind. Switch to Japanese," she commanded the Eva. The red alert lights faded and she felt the synchronization stabilize. They had already made contact with the Eva, which meant he had managed to clear his thoughts. The problems had only started when he had spoken.

She had no time to think about his mental faculties at the moment, however. With a flourish she got the Eva to its feet and took a moment to look at her surroundings. Several ships were on fire and a battleship was nearly vertical in the water as it sank below the waves like a giant finger pointing into the sky.

"This is bad," Shinji said in a low voice, "really bad..."

Getting a bead on where the carrier was, Asuka lowered her fiery eyebrows. "Let me worry about that," she said, "you just think happy thoughts." Then she launched them into the air towards a cruiser that looked ill able to bear an Eva's weight. As they hop-scotched a jagged path towards the carrier she felt her passenger's tension mount. With a thought she opened a communications channel to the carrier bridge.

"Misato, I'm about to land, I need power!"

There was no video uplink, but the sounds coming from the bridge of Over the Rainbow were raucous. "You got it, Asuka!" Misato yelled, "Just come on in!"

"Hell no!" a deep gravelly voice roared in the background. "Stop undercutting my authority! I'll have every one of you keel-hauled-" His voice was cut off when the ship lurched under the weight of her Eva. The carrier was completely unbalanced for a frightening moment, before Asuka shifted her Eva's weight, helping to bring the ship back on an even keel. Dozens of planes slid off the deck before the ship righted itself.

"That thing is wrecking my ship!" the Admiral yelled in the background.

"-uh, sir, the Angel is headed this way..." that voice was more subdued, probably the executive officer.

"What?" The admiral's fury was now tinged with fear. After that Asuka got her power cable rather quickly. She plugged in, her eyes following the white trail through the water that indicated the approaching Angel. She glanced momentarily over towards her quiet passenger as she drew her progressive knife. Even though it was what she had asked of him, his silence was almost unnerving. She shook her head.

"This is it," she said, looking back out towards the Angel, anticipation building within her. She crouched the Eva, preparing to receive the Angel's attack. The trail had disappeared, doubtless because the Angel had dove so it could properly jump onto the carrier. She waited, tensed, ready to react the moment it showed itself. Seconds crawled by. Had it gone under the ship to attack from the rear? She glanced to the rear momentarily, and by the time she had turned back to face forward she met a long row of teeth.

The creature slammed into her, its momentum pushing the Eva back, her feet kicking up sparks against the carrier deck. Finally the creature itself slammed into the deck, bringing its progress to a halt. Big as the carrier was, it could only contain about half the creature, and it was all Asuka could do to keep the Angel from pushing her off.

"Watch out, don't fall...!" Shinji hissed. "We're in B-Type equipment..." Those were the first words he had spoken since they had synchronized.

"I know!" she snapped in annoyance. She shifted her feet to get better leverage, but whatever she had put her foot on gave way without warning, making her stumble. She let out a yelp as the Angel lunged, then she hit her head against the back of the seat and her world was engulfed in darkness.

* * *

When Asuka came to everything around her was blurry, and she felt disoriented and strange, as if there were someone else's thoughts in her mind, distracting her. She was in her Eva, the controls were sluggish.

_It's that dream again._

"Are you okay?" Someone was sitting in front of her, half turned around, looking into her eyes. "Hey, are you okay? Are you hurt?" He looked worried.

"Yeah, Kaji, 'm-okay," she slurred. She leaned forward with a sigh. If only he was this kind in real life... The person she was hugging gave a startled yelp

"Hey! What're you doing?" He was looking less like Kaji now. "I need your help, okay? Misato has a plan..."

She shook her head, clearing it of the cobwebs. It was Shinji, he was sitting in her lap, touching her Eva's controls. More importantly... "What the heck...?" she looked back to find rows of teeth clamped around her Eva's midsection. "It swallowed us? What..." She glanced back to her erstwhile copilot, her face beginning to color. "What did you do to my Eva?" she wailed. "What..." Had he heard her call him Kaji a minute ago? She prayed that had just been part of the dream, that and when she had hugged him. Before she could say anything else Misato's strained voice came over the open comm channel.

"Hey Shinji, we need you to open the Angel's mouth, the battleships are on their way!"

Asuka was nearly beside herself with fury at being sidelined, even if it had been because she had been momentarily unconscious. She opened her mouth to say something, but her creep of a co-pilot interrupted her yet again.

"Hold on, Misato."

"Shinji, we can't wait! We-"

"Just a minute!" He turned to Asuka. "I can't do this myself. I can barely feel the Eva moving. Are you hurt anywhere? Can you still pilot?"

"No I'm not hurt! I can pilot...!" She grabbed the controls, her mind whirling. She had not expected him to talk back to Misato like that.

"Asuka!" Misato yelled, "Open the mouth now or it'll be too late!"

"Yeah I got it!" she snapped back, unlocking the butterfly controls so they swung back to their full extension. "Hold on," she told Shinji, her teeth clenched. She pulled with all her strength, but the Eva barely moved. She felt a little give, but that was all. Dimly she felt Shinji grab the controls below where she held them, adding his mental strength to her own.

Slowly the mouth began to open. She strained, and felt something in the Eva give way. With roar that she more felt than heard, she flexed her arms and forced the Angel's mouth open. The strength and power racing through her body was something she had never experienced before in any of her training. She almost laughed with the feel of it.

The two battleships passed by on both sides of her, plowing through the Angel's open mouth, shearing off teeth as they shuddered to a stop and immediately opened fire. Now she did laugh in triumph against the beast as it blew apart. The titanic shockwave reached out and slapped her into the air, once again turning out the lights.

* * *

Just outside the window of Asuka's hotel room was the impossible heat of Tokyo Three's eternal summer, but inside it was air-conditioned and comfortable, physically at least. She was flopped down on the bed like an afterthought, staring at the ceiling as her mind ceaselessly ran through recent events.

It had been only days earlier that she had been queen of the fleet, prepared to take over Tokyo Three as her own personal plaything. That was still the plan actually, but it didn't help that she'd fainted twice in her own entry plug. Never mind that Shinji had passed out as well when the Angel had exploded.

He was a boy, male, and those couldn't be trusted. No one except Kaji could be trusted, and now she wasn't sure about him. The way he had teased Misato... and she had seen the warmth in his eyes. He might have tried to keep it well hidden, but she knew him. Never mind that Misato looked to be outraged at his mere presence, that only underscored how deep their past went, whatever it turned out to be.

"_Are you okay?"_

Shinji's worried face floated before her, focused on her and her alone.

"_Shinji, we need you to open the Angel's mouth-"_

Misato's anxious voice, tinny over the comm system.

"_Just wait, Misato!"_ He had not even glanced away. _"Hey, I need your help...! Are you hurt? I can't do this myself..."_

He had put a hand on her forehead and widened her eyes, probably checking her for shock. Somehow she had forgotten that.

She turned onto her side. Her face was heating up, and that annoyed her. She toyed with her phone, turning it over in her hands idly. The illuminated numerals on it was a number Misato had given her. Slowly the numbers faded as the phone went to standby. She pushed a button, waking the phone up again. The numbers glowed. She turned the phone over in her hands.

"_Are you okay? Are you hurt?"_

She had felt disoriented and vulnerable when she had come to. If things hadn't been happening so fast, and if he hadn't been so on top of things, she would have been furious. A part of her was furious. She felt herself blush harder, as she remembered the feel of him in front of her in the plug seat. Her grip tightened on the phone. She shut her eyes, furiously willing away the memory.

She had at least known there was another male pilot, as well as the other girl, the First Child, but she had not known any more than their designations. She certainly hadn't expected the enigma that was Shinji Ikari.

The screen on her phone faded to black again. She pushed the center button again, reawakening it. Then it lit back up too quickly. She stared at it, horrified. Had she accidentally hit the call button? That couldn't be it, because the call was already connected.

"_Hello?"_ The small tinny voice whispered out of the small phone. She put it to her ear numbly. "Hello...?" the voice said again.

"Yeah?" she finally spoke.

"-oh. Umm, wait... is this Asuka?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Oh! I thought I recognized your voice. Are you okay?"

She closed her eyes. It was easy to summon his worried face.

"Hello? Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Did you make it back home okay?" She threw her pillow furiously against the wall, gritting her teeth and wincing. It was the first thing that had popped into her head, but it sounded stupid when she had voiced it.

"Yeah, no thanks to Misato's driving, you know." He laughed and she felt her face heating up again.

"Believe me, I know all about that," she murmured. Then she threw the other pillow against the wall, where it slid down to join its sister. Why had she said that without thinking?

"Really? So you two know each other-"

"No!" she moderated her tone and flopped down on the mattress. "I mean, she sort of looked after me in Germany for a while..."

"Huh, I didn't know." His voice sounded bemused. She pushed her feet against the headboard, bunching up the covers beneath her back. These weren't things she had intended to share with him. "So... I guess she was as much of a slob with you too, right?"

"Oh don't even get me started on that!" Asuka snapped. "She even tried to foist all the chores off on me! The nerve of that woman..."

"Yeah, I kind of got that feeling myself, but I'm used to it."

"Hey, don't let her push you around! That lazy thing is just a front to get other people to do her dirty work for her you know."

"Yeah, but it's too much trouble to do all that. Believe it or not, it's less work just to clean up the place. You know how Misato is, I guess. But I do draw the line at her room. As long as she keeps the door closed, I don't have to see it." He laughed, and this time she was better able to control her the blush that tried to creep over her face.

"Yeah, well, don't pamper her too much." She felt her shoulders reach the edge of the bed. "Some people are too kind for their own good and people walk all over them."

"I guess. Hey, are you enrolled in school yet? Misato was saying-"

"Don't even go there!" Asuka huffed, pushing off with her feet and flopping down onto the ground. The pillows were perfectly placed to cushion her. "Honestly, I've graduated from college already, you know? I don't need this crap," she grumbled, bouncing her feet up and down on the bed. "Just cause I haven't finished memorizing all those stupid kanji..." The call was as out of control as her battle had been, but there was nothing she could do about it now.

"Wow, you've graduated already? That's crazy..."

"No, it's called 'being smart.' I'm genius level, you know." She idly curled a lock of hair around her middle finger.

"I guess so." There was a pause, and she was reminded that she had been the one to accidentally call him. She was still desperately making up some inane reason to hang up without making him feel like she was cutting him off, when he continued. "Hey, if that's true, that means you're good with math, right?"

"Well, obviously! Why?"

"I was wondering if you'd help me a little, there's some stuff I don't understand."

She fell silent. There was something odd about him. She could hear a hesitance in his voice at times, but most of the time he sounded normal and friendly. It wasn't quite like he was putting up a front, it was more natural than that. She couldn't quite pin it down.

"It's okay if you don't have time-"

"No! I've got time..." She flung one of the pillows back onto the bed, flopping back down before continuing. "It's not really that big of a deal," she said in a more calm tone. Her mind was racing. A part of her really wanted to see him again, but judging by their short interactions so far, things always seemed to be out of control whenever she was around him, and she felt uncomfortable about that.

"If you're sure..."

"I said I'm sure so I'm sure!" she snapped.

"Alright then, I'll see you later."

"Yeah. Bye."

The light on her phone died, and she tossed it away idly. Letting out a breath she didn't know she had been holding, she stared at the ceiling. A smile touched her lips. "Hm."


End file.
